QUOTE OF THE DAY

The more you know the less you need to say. - Jim Rohn

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Giving people the self confidence is by far the most important thing that I can do. Because then they will act.

- Jack Welch

Talking to a brick wall

Everybody has one of these people in their lives, those who are closest to you and seem to know you very well, know which button to push in order get a reaction in certain situation or circumstance. These so called "people" may happen to be your mother, father, brother, sister, grandmother, grandfather etc. Or maybe they are your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife or which ever it is.
They seemingly say things that are so hurtful and heartless. This makes you think, how could anybody say they love someone and announce such a mean message? How could one be so cruel? Do they really believe what they say?
These so called "unorthodox family member", so it seems would go out of their way to maliciously hurt your feelings or say things that are deemed hurtful and purposely say them to you in order to get a reaction out of you.
You have tried telling them that what they are saying is so hurtful and that they should be more considerate of other people's feelings and they completely dismiss everything you say. This is especially true in their standard response.
For example, it may resemble one of the following:

• You are just too sensitive and cannot be told the truth
• Well if you chose to listen to good advice then bad things will never happen to you
  
• You think you are always right
• You are selfish and can only see things from your side and nobody else's

Oh and the list could go on. They make you feel terrible and you sometimes wish you could disown them. However,if only the solution was that simple. After all these people are blood related individuals who you have spent most of your childhood and adolescents with. You have a deep connection with them and now they are the source of your greatest angst and frustration. If they were merely an aquaintance then it would not have the same affect. Nevertheless, that is frankly not the case but the contrary. Furthermore, They are the ones that cause you to feel as though you are never good enough and somehow when we are caught in this situation we are constantly striving to please them but every time that we do, it appears as though it is never enough. You feel very despondent and at times disillusioned.
Here's the deal, these people are more likely than not going through their own emotionally battles. They are hurt, angry, scared and frustrated themselves and do not know how to deal with their emotions, so they do what is instinctive to them and lash out on those closest to them. Not to mention, this could behaviour could not be performed to their friends or acquaintances because they comprehend that those people will not stand for their rubbish and they feel more comfortable with those who are closes to them. It is much easier to do because they seem more forgiving.
Additionally, Do you find yourself in a screaming match with certain members of the family or loved ones? It becomes a contest of who can scream the loudest. You find yourself shouting to be heard and to have your point validated but all you get in return for your effort is a sore throat and a humongous migraine. OK, you are thinking well that's no real consolation prize, the frustration is still there and you are still not being heard and now you feel bruised and rejected by the people who are supposed to love you and care about you.
The tension that you may have with loved ones can be quite intense. However, anything that is worth fight for will always comes at a great cost. Moreover, sometimes if we were to stop and see where the other person is coming from we may notice that we are simply looking at the same situation, topic, circumstance from a different angle. If we were to stop and ask what it is that the other person was really trying to reveal to us? We might discover that maybe they have our best interest at heart and perhaps they do not know how to convey that loving message in a way that you understand it. Remember we are all wired differently and have an altered way of saying things, not all of us are great communicators and messages can get misconstruded.
Ultimately, everybody has something to teach us but at times the hurt and the pain override the true intention of the message that is being delivered. Sometimes there are only things that those closes to you have the ability to teach us and you might be surprised that if you do stop and listen sometimes there is great wisdom to be received. The sooner we accept this reality, the easier it will be to get along with those " unorthodox people" in your lives.

Women in Hell (English)

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Have compassion for all beings, rich and poor alike; each has their suffering. Some suffer too much, others too little.

- Buddha

The human touch ...

The human touch, what is it about this action that could make a grown man cry? The incredible power of touch and the results it produces. Granted, this action must be achieved with the right person and time. It is also true that touch has the ability to heal.
In today's modern habitation, we are too afraid of drawing near in case of offending someone or fear of rejection from the other party. Certainly, we do run that risk where we may be rejected. However, everything in life is a risk, just the severity of a particular choice.
The ironic thing is that technology is meant to make our lives easier by way of connecting with people all around the world. The consequence of this marvelous man made technology is that it has caused the human race to become disconnected. How bazaar? Mankind created technology to get people connected but we find ourselves more detached from reality and more connected with this so called fantastic way of connecting. To illustrate this phenomenon, take the mobile phone, it is meant to connect people and it was serving its purpose for a while until text messaging came and robbed the voice call of the its prime position and nowadays we find ourselves messaging more so than making the traditional phone call. It seems as though we are just too afraid to pick up the phone and make a call. It's often heard that " oh it's easier to text message" but is it really ?
What ever happened to people interacting with one another without the aid of technology. Have you noticed that even when people interact with each other nowadays they spend most of their time on the phone. Though they are amongst human interaction but they have lost the ability to interact. Meanwhile, this has transcended into family life as well where dad may eat in front of the computer or television and mum is in another room and the children are scattered throughout the home. Quality time no longer exist and consequently, the children miss out on the fundamental skills of social interaction if they do not even see it in their home.
Have we neglected the elementary idea of our existence, which is people and connection. Nevertheless, we are living increasingly isolated lives where many of us are living alone for one reason or another. Ultimately, what this means is that we no longer know how to have compassion for others or their needs.
In spite of all this technology helping connect people, it has produced a reverse affect. Funnily enough people are more alike than we are different.

A Benevolent Culture.

Ever wondered what a utopia on earth would resemble? A benevolent community where colaboration of individuals come together and offer one another a helping hand without any personal agendas. Where the needs of the destitute are freely provided.

Imagine a society where everybody knew their purpose and calling for their lives and we all possessed a fulfilling occupation and we embrace our uniqueness and differences and we can all agree to disagree. Would we as a collective body strives to make the lives of others a better one, and die to oneself.

What an amazing hibitation that would be. However, this is possible and achievable but we are all causght up in our own schedule, everybody is time poor and has very little time for one another so the lost and the lonely inevitably get left behind because they do not enhance or add value to our lives at this present moment.

What if we all learnt to take stock of our lives and every single one of us were to self evaluate what is important in our lives, would we all prioritise the things we prioritise at this present moment and what if we were suddenly forced to ask ourselves some very tough questions, what would they be and would they change you outlook?

I has dawned on me that the things we see as valuble is not as valuble as we think. Things like

making time for friends and family or even extending our time to those we don't even know exist in our community such as the elderly who have lost all their families and is suffering in silence or the neglected child who is craving for someone to love them unconditionally. When one thinks that their life is tough, compared to what? Have we got a true gauging stick for what is hard or tough? that is very relative and depending on your journey we will never really know what tough is.

Pain is never an easy process but how many times have been gone through pain and come out of it and forget all about it. We are alot more robust than we all think. We cannot ask why bad things happen to us if we are not prepared to stop and ask when life is looking up, why? It is believed that comparison is like a plague, it starts off small and simply consumes you and unassumingly we continue to judge ourselves by what others are doing or thinking or even saying.

We all want that benevolent domicile whether we think about it or not. A place where we can honestly say to ourselves that someone outside of my own broad really truly cares about our well being. We must learn to be a pro active society and not wait for the dirty work to be completed by somebody else. Every being has a hunger to be heard and loved, not condemned and wondering whether they are good enough by their action or choices.

Anyways who are we to judge those who we deem as flawed, if we were to examine ourselves carefully we ourselves are full of flaws, more than we even want to admit it to ourselves.

Competing against one another is no helping anybody's cause and the only reward is knowing that someone is going to have to relinquish something at another persons'expense. It a classic case of women competing amongst each other, we are meant to be the tribe that has each others back because we understand the needs of one another and not maliciously attack one another.

Everybody wants to dwell in a society that is authentic and transparent, with a willing heart. On the other hand, think about the kind of a legacy would you like to leave behind and how would you like people to remember you by? When we view life in this light we can see the value of individuals differently.

This is a world that is vulnerable and full of doubt, where we are constantly having to prove our worth. I believe what people are missing is that they are special and unique in all that they are and if we were to focus on our strengths and not challenges we would see collections of humankind living out their dreams. Nobody is really better than anybody, we all have different talents and we should use what we have wisely and embrace it. Comparison and competitiveness only drives us to dispair.

Believe it or not but people appreciate a kind word or gesture more than each and everyone of us thinks. Acts of random kindness is never forgotten no matter valocity.

What women really want?

What women want? what happens when you go out and a man approaches you and you have this great sensation to comply and hold a non chalance conversation. This is what many women experience because we have this inability or the unwillingness to say no thanks I do not wish to engage in this conversation. So trying to conceptualise this idea where we women feel the need to be nice to men and hold a conversation that we really don't want to partake. In a social observation we can see this going on all the time and makes you wonder why why thinks it is ok ? A young girl is dancing on the dance floor and is approached by a young man who seems interested in her, however reading her body language we discover she is clearly not interested in him but continues to dance and converse. Now this got the brain asking mulitple question such as why would she allow herself to take part when everything inside her screams NO? So as they dance and exchange words under the blarring nocturnes, he brazenly lends forward and makes out with her. She recipricates but in an awkward way. She leaves the dance floor with him and her friend. What would possess her to do such an act? Are we living in a society so desperate for acceptance that we are willing to accept a random strangers invitation even when we don't want to? This is evident in the body language. Why are women not strong enough to stand up for what they feel or believe in? Is it possible that we have relinquished all power to other people, situation and circumstances? There must be a time and a place where young women need positive role models to show them positive ways of interacting with the opposite sex. In a world where women are fighting to for equal rights and the gender role has been blurred. Is it any wonder where we as women stand and what a woman should be? Women want to be men and men feeling like they do not have any power. We want to raise women of the next generation to be all they can be without having to sell themselves short and settling for less than they want. A gorgeous blonde is dancing the night away with what seems like a colleague and her boss. Does this girl really want to be out here or does she feel obliged to hang on to her job position? In reality we are all too terrified to be who we are just in case we get discovered that we are all that people think we are and we are so wanting people to like us. We should relish in individualism. Celebrate our uniqueness.

Sheryl WuDunn: Our century's greatest injustice | Video on TED.com

This video must be seen be seen by al women. We need to make a difference and every woman need to be free ... Autonomy to be all that they can be. We need to embrace and care enough to make a difference in those who need a helipng hand. Sheryl WuDunn: Our century's greatest injustice Video on TED.com

The power of an educated women

Women and education. It is the 21st century and our former feminist crusaders have spent over two centuries fighting for equality and the rights to be educated. As a woman in the modern generation where we seem to take things like education and the rights to vote, just to name a few. Well ok I could do without the voting as I have no idea what is going on in the political realm anyways and I have no idea how the political system works and nor do I stop to take stock of it anyhow. Pondering on the notion of women and education and the implication of it. How is it empowering to a woman and what meaning does it birth to be highly educated. Sure, a woman does not require higher education to ascertain employment in certain places but if she does not have a so called "university degree" because it is out of reach or even worst an education at all. How will she make a life for herself ? This is one of the biggest problems in many developing nations. Men are favouritised to be educated and the women are sent out to the work force. It is believed in many of the developing society that girls are seen as a burden. Therefore, investing in girls are seen as a waste of scarce resources. How does an uneducated group of individuals in an improvished society value education when the need to survive is so great and the hunger pangs are so constant, the lack of basic nacessities are so great. Where the wealth disparity is so great. If $65 can change a woman life in a country like India, where a woman can start up her own business so she can feed her family and perhaps send her children to school. They are predispose to social prejudicism. Education in this instance will open doors and allow these women to lead an autonomous lives. What would the lives of these women look like if they were educated and had the ability to experience independence and freedom, to be able to contribute to society. Create a world where women are free and receive the opportunity for educated, as they are the gateway out of poverty in many cases. It is time for a renewal of mentality.

Virtue of self acceptance. Is it really mind over matter?

Here's the thing. I have come to this very belief that hurting people hurt others and therefore would intentionally or unintentionally wound a vulnerable soul. Some may agree with this statement and some will vehmently deny this to be true. Nevertheless, that is besides the point. The difference between a healthy soul and an unhealthy one lies in the relationship that they have with themselves. Why this was mentioned? Because if you are unable to develop a healthy relationship with yourself, how are you going to develop a healthy relationship with another being? What we have to remember is that we are stuck with our thoughts. We cannot run away from ourselves not even for one second which is a terrifying thought is it not? Truth be known, it's almost too much to fathom. Let's ask ourselves this question. Now the question is think back to a time when an individual that you respected or looked up to told you that you weren't good enough or that you couldn't do something because of one reason or another? Have we ever been told that? How many times have we sold our burning desires to the book shelf? I hear many of us saying too many to count on both hands. Well here's the thing. People will tell you that you cannot do something either they think they can't do it themselves and can not bear the notion of you succeeding at something they are too engrosed with fear to engage in themselves. Remember it's the old saying that misery loves company. In addition, it could be as simple as not having enough faith in you, so if we don't believe enough in oursleves we run that risk of selling our greatest desire to the shelf. Then again, who are we to blame for not living our lives to the fullest? Although what has been said may hold truth, it does not spell the end of the world. How do we love ourselves when we hear about all the things that people don't like about us? How do we overcome hurt and rejection that is inevitable in this unperfect world. What would it take to love and accept yourself ? Now that would be a start. Easier said then done right? Sure but it is certainly not impossible either. I've often pondered on this very theme. If c escaping yourself was not an option, then what is left? Learning to make peace with self. When we understand our feelings and fully comprehend why we feel the way we feel, there is power in that knowledge. We can start to see things from a different perspective, we can start to learn to accept and respect the way we feel about a particular topic and you will find that one will develop a tolerance for difference in opinion because we know why we feel the way we do and can welcome opposing opinions with grace. Learning to love yourself does not mean that one is vein or self righteous. It means that you are willing to stand strong for your beliefs and regardless of external attitude. When we don't stand for something, it more than likely a person will fall for anything and this is when we lose sight of ourselves. Love, acceptance is owed to every being, whether you feel like you deserve it or not, it is for taking. When we don't feel so lovely and worthy we need to tell ourselves that no matter how we feel; we owe it to oourselves to be kind and respectful to ourselves when the human race does not want to value us. We are all created perfectly, the funny thing is that we live in a imperfect world which has distorted our personal worth. Endorse forgiveness and be gentle to thy self and see if that has a positive effect. Sometimes being unorthodox will concede an unbirthed dream. The power is bestowed within. No one is truly lacking what they were created for.