what happens when your world is not your oyster?

In the modern age of technology and with an increase in cyber space communication taking charge and leading the way as a form of communication and communicating face to face seems to be the thing of the past is it any wonder why people find it so hard to communicate with each other? It seems as though people are losing touch with their own human kind and the only way we know how to rely our feelings is though some sort of a portal.

So what is comes to dating; couples don't call anymore and when you want to set up a date they message their prospective suitors. Come on! how hard is it to give someone a phone call and say " Hi, I would love to take you out on a date..... what ever what ever" You know show some courtesy so that other person knows that you are acknowledge that you are human and have a vocal cord and emotions. 

Whatever happened to the days where Men were conversationalist and interesting and had something interesting to contribute to a conversation when they took you out and nowadays most men are like watching paint dry and you wonder why there are so many single people out there. Look it isn't really too much to ask of the other person on the first date to have something interesting to contribute. We don't want details of your job description or how you haven't washed your laundry in two weeks and you have to order tailor made shirts becuase you haven't been bothered to take all your business shirts to the dry cleaners. Gentlemen they are not very highly simulating conversations. Women aren't fussy; we just don't want to dates poles we want a partner to share an interest grounded on commonality. 

It really makes you wonder whether there is any intelligent men out there and the answer has to be YES !!! but where do they all hang out ?? They aren't amongst my circle of friends or the places that I delight myself in so where are they ??? Nestled amongst the shelves at the state library some sort of book club meetings? That's all a bit of a mystery .......

 a shame that first impressions last forever and it's very difficult to redeem yourself that but it is the way the universe works. Secondly, you go on these unsucessful dates and they don't work out and I guess your ego takes abit of a battling and you start to wonder what is wrong with yourself and your inability to meet anybody who is remotely decent? Thirdly, you have the unflattering title of being single; this when people start to feel sorry for you because you are not attached and in a relationship with someone and there are no potentials in the horizon, to top it all off it doesn't help if most of your friends are single and every single time you go out all they talk about is the ideal partner and what they want in a partner, that is enough to do your head in and there will always be a fixer within your network of friends who feel as though they need to be the stand in parent and guide you through life. I am sure many of us have those kind of people nestled among their circle of friends. As you know they can be so exhausting and they don't even know that they are doing that. Perhaps they need to assess their own lives and find themselves a damn partner before they start dishing out advice for everybody else.

Look it really isn't that bad being single. Think about all the benefits of being single and the autonomy to be able to accomplish some of your goals in life, though I am not saying that you can't do it with a partner who wants the things you want and sometimes it's just not that easy. Sometimes you have to be patient in order to find the person who is truly right for you. Settling for someone because you are coming of age and all your friends are married ?? Rememeber we need to have our own lives before we come together with someone and nobody wants a needy partner, they are exhausting and relationship killers 

The lone Ranger

What happens when you find yourself single and all your friends are settled into a relationship and you are on this journey of singledom. This is probably exactly what you don't want but you also don't want to run the risk of looking desperate or needy so you are caught in this predicament. Does it sound like someone you know?

At the beginning you think to yourself; being single isn't a bad thing until you are out with your friends and they come out with their respective partners and you are sitting at that dinner table on your own and you start to think "jeez this is such an awkward situation" and the feeling of awkwardness starts to engulf you and as the night goes on when your friends are sitting around discussing wedding plans or planning a couples trip overseas and you are just wishing that you had someone to have and hold, to cuddle up to at nights and have non sense conversations that don't really go anywhere.

This begs the question, why do people form relationships? Apart from the oblivious that it is nice to have someone special in your life to share life's little pleasures with, apart from the obvious; what is the underpinning of this desire for unionship.

In a society where people are feeling more and more disconnected, finding a compatible partner is almost like finding that perfect bra where is hugs and hold in the right spots. perhaps you don't want to be stung with the label of being single and avoid it like a plague because we don't want others to think that there is something wrong with you. Do they really think that about us or is it us thinking that is what others around us are thinking?

Be that as it may, what's wrong with waiting for the right person to come along? What's the huge rush? remember the saying that your mother used to tell you when you were a child? Good things come to those who wait.

In fact, loneliness is a huge aspect as to why some of us enter a relationship and sometimes we don't even want to be in it. To put it simply, it is for pure companionship, you will find yourself at a certain stage of your life when your friends don't have time for you anymore and the sensation of isolation increases and affects many aspects of your life especially if you are not the gregarious type who find it easy to meet new people or shy away when at large gatherings.

It's funny, in a democratic society where we embrace individuality and self worth we also put so much emphasis on being with someone and forming that happy family and the white picket fence. As much as you want to discredit this notion or not buy into it; it's almost impossible to avoid it as the signs are there and it is constantly put in our face. We are constantly being bombarded with show that symbolises family and being attached.

When you are single people start to feel sorry for you and make these suggestions that they have a friend who is single and you should meet them because they are just the loveliest person but is down on their luck when it comes to love.

OK the gesture is nice and the intentions are well intended but it somehow leaves you feeling as though you are inadequate. So the cycle goes on and on until you find that compatible person for yourself.

The fear is what makes us do this very act. In the same fashion, people need to first and foremost find a purpose in their lives; another person who enters your life is not going to instantly make your life any better or easier or take away the things that you don't like about yourself. You would more likely find that you just end up draining the other person and sucking them dry and becoming really needy.

Find thyself and get working on bettering yourself and you will find that you won't even need to be looking for a prospective partner as they will be instantly drawn to you.

The games that people play

Relationships. Everybody will encounter this in their lifetime, it may a relation with your family or work mates whatever it is we all have to learn to connect with people in our lives whether we like it or not.

What I am speaking about here is the dynamic of courtship. When a girl likes a boy or vice verser how do we handle our emotions when things are not going our way? Do we give ourselves the opportunity to seek the truth from within or do many of us react in a primitive manner, reacting to our instant feeling and not understanding why we feel and react the way that we do.

The game of love is never an easy one to play, one thing is for sure and that is you are never guaranteed that the affection or attention that you put out will reap any rewards and that is the peril of emotional attachment and this is the price we pay in the name of love. Furthermore, what happens when you are attracted to someone and they tell you that they only want to be friends with you? How do conduct yourself and where do you draw the boundaries and say that enough is enough and be mature enough to leave the other person alone before it becomes a anti social behaviour and bordering on psychopathic.

So when you ask a guy/girl out for coffee or a drink and they happen to accept your offer and tell you that this only going to be plutonic, are you able to accept that? They say that honesty is the best policy. Why do some of us react badly to the truth? I believe it has a contributing factor to your upbringing and environment and how love was fostered and nurtured during those critical stages of a persons life.

Being unable to accept that a person is not romantically interested and pushing their personal agenda on to you and making you see things the way they want you to see it and if you see this sign early then it is a clear indicator for future behaviour. One thing is for sure and that is if a person feels as though they need to impose their perspective on to someone else then one will need to pose the question of why they are making you the problematic subject when you clearly know that the way they feel has nothing to do with you.

It is important to follow your gut instinct and if it tells you that something is not right then you know that more likely than not it will turn out to be what you originally felt about a particular person or circumstance even perhaps a situation.

This is especially true that Women especially; feel the need to have to carry their partners burdens and take that task upon themselves with could ultimately become burdensome for themselves and they find they do not know how to handle the situation and feel as though they are trapped. Moreover, many women feel as though they are alone and have nobody to share this issue with and it seems to be a common occurrence.

By the same token, we need to understand that it is ok for a person to not want something romantic and respecting their boundaries. Nevertheless, we are not emotionally responsible for the way somebody feels about themselves; if we have not been an intrigue part of their personality development and up bringing. They the perpetrator do not have the rights to make anybody feel bad about themselves when they start to feel inadequate or rejection as not everybody you come across will have a romantic attraction for you.

Nobody has the power to make someone feel the way that they feel. They have chosen those emotions on their own terms whether that be on a subconscious or conscious level that is irrelevant.

Thus, each and everyone of us needs to comprehend the dynamics of a healthy relationship where you allow your partner personal space and granting the trust and respect that they deserve and not be suspicious of them when they are out of your sight and stifling their personality will not be of benefit to the relationship as it will ultimately cause a communication break down and disintegrate a replete relationship.

Ice Cream Blow

Sex sells and that is it, there are no two ways about it. This commerical is such a good example of a simple task of eating ice cream can turn into some sexual inuendo. You can tell alot about a society and the values.

Feminism and its hungry quest

Simone de Beauvior once suggested that "one is not a woman but rather becomes one". Yes, the statement is an unusual shape and formation. What she is trying to debunk here is the fact that despite our God ordained anatomy of the two genders, we choose whether we are going to become a female or not? The body is seen as a passive medium which is bound by cultural definition. This would be in a more western discourse where free thinking is embraced. Furthermore, the gender role has been blurred and what once defined what a man or a woman. It seems very apparent that the contention of gender equality is not about the equality but more of a power struggle. What is it about feminism that drives a collective group of women to follow this cause. Do they know what they are rallying for or does the notion tickle the individuals pallet. What does a feminist party stand for anyways? It's believed that they are fighting a good fight the female race but if you look around not much has been changed and equality is such a murky word that hold no real definition.

When a women calls herself a feminist, what does she really mean and what is it that she is advocating for? What is interesting about this movement is that we are in the third wave and when you look back to the history of feminism it started with a basic element and with time it has outgrown its cause and now no longer can it sustain its objective because of the in satiable power to ascertain what is not meant to be.

In saying so, the sentiment of a woman knowing her worth and can assert herself is not a terrible thing but in a world where it is arduous to characterise what it is that a woman should do and adopting one's own cue can lead to such a detrimental results as it is oblivious today. Moreover, if you look closely at this movement it is designated for the elite and the prominent of society where they have the time and resources to fund a philosophical cause.

Nevertheless, it is wonderful to see women finding in the name of sisterhood but this movement is more catered to those in the West. It would not possible or near impossible for a feminist movements in certain parts of the world to gain momentum in a patriarchal community.

What would happen if women were equal par as men will that satisfy the pink brigade? this is not to connote the works of feminist as they have caused women as a whole to become progressive thinkers and to champion women to speak up and stand up for their rights which has seen a shift in many developed society on a whole which is a positive step in the right direction. However, the peril of this achievements leaves us in this predicament of women wanting more and more and the insatiable to have it all can be detrimental to the well being of a progressive commonwealth where men become emasculated and are not fulfilling their roles and serving their purpose.

Men and Women will never be on equal par but are designed for different tasks and collectively working on your natural talents and abilities. Trying to bite off more than you can chew can leave you feeling disillusioned.

It's all in the kiss

Out with a friend on a particular Thursday night socialising and so we decided to go out and dance, just one of those spare of the moment things I guess. As it's been a while since I've been out on a Thursday night; surveying what Sydney had to offer on a like like this, it was a real eye opener. We went out to this once a noteworthy club and it posed a very young crowd and boy did my friend and I really start to feel our age.

Well I could only speak for myself that I was feeling particularly old, I am not sure about my friend but that's besides the point. So we pay our entry fee and head up this winding set of stairs to get into the club, it was crowded and those who know me know how much I love to be squashed in crowded places and I had this wonderful experience when I was in Japan several weeks back. Now in Japan is what I call a 24/7 rave without the enjoyment of it. Packed trains packed everything and everywhere it was enough to do my head in and make me want to scream.

Now getting back on track, my friend and I were dancing and funnily enough we were observing this girl that was dancing in front us with her girlfriend. I know what you're thinking? That's nothing spectacular, there was also a guy waiting for an opportunity to hook up with this particular girl and the opportunity came when the girl's friend hooked up with a guy and moved away slightly giving this guy the opportunity to make his move a scheming wolf.

So this was his tactic, he finds his window of opportunity and moves in and makes " ultra smooth move" and starts to shake his hips and gets his groove on. I guess it would have been rude to have stared the whole time so the friend and I did our own thing and something about that girl caught my eyes again and this time I was glued a watching an accident, you want to look away but the presentation was way too alluring.

He WAS so brazen and went for the smooch and we could tell from her body reaction she was just not into him and both of us (the friend and I ) gave each other the look of what the heck just happened?

So she kisses him; then abruptly pulls away. We thought oh OK she didn't like it and he didn't do it for her. Fair enough, he wanted to be some Latin lover but looked more like a tosser trying too hard to be a crooner and it just wasn't working. They stayed there for a while dancing and honestly we could tell she wanted to be anywhere but there in his company. So the friend comes back with her hook up and the four of them leaves the club. Then a thought sprung into mind? Why would you leave a club with someone you hardly make eye contact with the whole time you were with him. Anyways that was that and no thought beyond that but found it strange. Feeling like an 70 year old going out again for the first time in 40 years.

I felt so out of place in that club and suggested to my friend that we should go and so we made our way out to get a cab to get to another venue. Jeez who would've thought that this friend could venue hope like a pro night club scout !!! Sure had the energy alright.

Who do we see as we walked towards a vacant cab ??? the girl and her friend and the boy she didn't FANCY ??? OMG what the hell ??? Why would you do that ??? It was so bazaar and begs me to ask the question? If it's all in the body language and the kiss what on earth would possess one to go with a boy you oblivious don't like.

Is it validation or me being completely being out of touch, there will never be a definitive answer for. It was just really sad to see a girl craving for attention that she seemingly lacks and to go with a boy she has no interest in what so ever. It poses the question of how many of us get into a relationship that we do not want for the sack of not being alone or to seek some form of validation.
We seem to think that we are all different but somehow we are all the same with very similar needs and desires.

Out with the old and wait for something new

We all know that wonderful saying "out with the old and in with the new". I'm sure we've all had an experience with someone who is or was toxic in our lives. They try to control and manipulate many facets of your lives and you begin to question your self worth at times because they make you feel so horrible.

You find yourself fighting about things that you are unsure of how it all began and why you guys even fought in the first place. This sensation leaves you feeling worn out and weary but you just don't know how to get off the vicious merry go round.

Of course just knowing the truth or someone pointing out the oblivious is going to be good enough for you to realise that what you are doing is really damaging yourself more than anybody else and by you staying in that relationship in the name of love is only adding fuel to the fire but it leaves you feeling like there is a strong hold on you and for some reason you have justified it in your head that you cannot leave without this person, though you may not have to admit it to anyone but you yourself knows this very truth.

Now that you've realised and woken up to see all that this relationship is doing to you is causing you get pain and the truth is, this relationship will not survive, instantly it makes you feel like some failure who can't get it all together and try to make something work. Ouch you're thinking to yourself. Not only do I feel like a failure but now I have to admit to myself that what I have been doing this whole time has been a lost cause.

Nevertheless, It's not a be all to end all. It is not all dome and loom, sometimes all you need are really good friends to help you get out of these situations but even that is not always an easy solution because people will always have their own tainted views on things.

No doubt, this is where it all seems impossible and at times and there is no way out. With the added bonus of the psychological phenomena; fear, doubt and other anxiety can make you do the things that you would not normally do.

Besides, we as individuals decide who and how much power we are going to relinquish to a particular person and how much we are prepared to put up with. I believe if everybody knew how loved and valued they were, there will no be a soul out there would would settle for second best. Being emotionally or physically captive is no fun and this why when we manage to get ourselves out, we must learn to rebuild our lives and learn to love yourself again. It is like tossing out that old pair of worn out underwear that you know you are meant to throw out ages ago because it's really not serving its purpose anymore and for some reason you are waiting for a written invitation for you to act. It's hard to love someone when you don't love or know yourself.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

The more you know the less you need to say. - Jim Rohn

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Giving people the self confidence is by far the most important thing that I can do. Because then they will act.

- Jack Welch

Talking to a brick wall

Everybody has one of these people in their lives, those who are closest to you and seem to know you very well, know which button to push in order get a reaction in certain situation or circumstance. These so called "people" may happen to be your mother, father, brother, sister, grandmother, grandfather etc. Or maybe they are your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife or which ever it is.
They seemingly say things that are so hurtful and heartless. This makes you think, how could anybody say they love someone and announce such a mean message? How could one be so cruel? Do they really believe what they say?
These so called "unorthodox family member", so it seems would go out of their way to maliciously hurt your feelings or say things that are deemed hurtful and purposely say them to you in order to get a reaction out of you.
You have tried telling them that what they are saying is so hurtful and that they should be more considerate of other people's feelings and they completely dismiss everything you say. This is especially true in their standard response.
For example, it may resemble one of the following:

• You are just too sensitive and cannot be told the truth
• Well if you chose to listen to good advice then bad things will never happen to you
  
• You think you are always right
• You are selfish and can only see things from your side and nobody else's

Oh and the list could go on. They make you feel terrible and you sometimes wish you could disown them. However,if only the solution was that simple. After all these people are blood related individuals who you have spent most of your childhood and adolescents with. You have a deep connection with them and now they are the source of your greatest angst and frustration. If they were merely an aquaintance then it would not have the same affect. Nevertheless, that is frankly not the case but the contrary. Furthermore, They are the ones that cause you to feel as though you are never good enough and somehow when we are caught in this situation we are constantly striving to please them but every time that we do, it appears as though it is never enough. You feel very despondent and at times disillusioned.
Here's the deal, these people are more likely than not going through their own emotionally battles. They are hurt, angry, scared and frustrated themselves and do not know how to deal with their emotions, so they do what is instinctive to them and lash out on those closest to them. Not to mention, this could behaviour could not be performed to their friends or acquaintances because they comprehend that those people will not stand for their rubbish and they feel more comfortable with those who are closes to them. It is much easier to do because they seem more forgiving.
Additionally, Do you find yourself in a screaming match with certain members of the family or loved ones? It becomes a contest of who can scream the loudest. You find yourself shouting to be heard and to have your point validated but all you get in return for your effort is a sore throat and a humongous migraine. OK, you are thinking well that's no real consolation prize, the frustration is still there and you are still not being heard and now you feel bruised and rejected by the people who are supposed to love you and care about you.
The tension that you may have with loved ones can be quite intense. However, anything that is worth fight for will always comes at a great cost. Moreover, sometimes if we were to stop and see where the other person is coming from we may notice that we are simply looking at the same situation, topic, circumstance from a different angle. If we were to stop and ask what it is that the other person was really trying to reveal to us? We might discover that maybe they have our best interest at heart and perhaps they do not know how to convey that loving message in a way that you understand it. Remember we are all wired differently and have an altered way of saying things, not all of us are great communicators and messages can get misconstruded.
Ultimately, everybody has something to teach us but at times the hurt and the pain override the true intention of the message that is being delivered. Sometimes there are only things that those closes to you have the ability to teach us and you might be surprised that if you do stop and listen sometimes there is great wisdom to be received. The sooner we accept this reality, the easier it will be to get along with those " unorthodox people" in your lives.

Women in Hell (English)

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Have compassion for all beings, rich and poor alike; each has their suffering. Some suffer too much, others too little.

- Buddha

The human touch ...

The human touch, what is it about this action that could make a grown man cry? The incredible power of touch and the results it produces. Granted, this action must be achieved with the right person and time. It is also true that touch has the ability to heal.
In today's modern habitation, we are too afraid of drawing near in case of offending someone or fear of rejection from the other party. Certainly, we do run that risk where we may be rejected. However, everything in life is a risk, just the severity of a particular choice.
The ironic thing is that technology is meant to make our lives easier by way of connecting with people all around the world. The consequence of this marvelous man made technology is that it has caused the human race to become disconnected. How bazaar? Mankind created technology to get people connected but we find ourselves more detached from reality and more connected with this so called fantastic way of connecting. To illustrate this phenomenon, take the mobile phone, it is meant to connect people and it was serving its purpose for a while until text messaging came and robbed the voice call of the its prime position and nowadays we find ourselves messaging more so than making the traditional phone call. It seems as though we are just too afraid to pick up the phone and make a call. It's often heard that " oh it's easier to text message" but is it really ?
What ever happened to people interacting with one another without the aid of technology. Have you noticed that even when people interact with each other nowadays they spend most of their time on the phone. Though they are amongst human interaction but they have lost the ability to interact. Meanwhile, this has transcended into family life as well where dad may eat in front of the computer or television and mum is in another room and the children are scattered throughout the home. Quality time no longer exist and consequently, the children miss out on the fundamental skills of social interaction if they do not even see it in their home.
Have we neglected the elementary idea of our existence, which is people and connection. Nevertheless, we are living increasingly isolated lives where many of us are living alone for one reason or another. Ultimately, what this means is that we no longer know how to have compassion for others or their needs.
In spite of all this technology helping connect people, it has produced a reverse affect. Funnily enough people are more alike than we are different.

A Benevolent Culture.

Ever wondered what a utopia on earth would resemble? A benevolent community where colaboration of individuals come together and offer one another a helping hand without any personal agendas. Where the needs of the destitute are freely provided.

Imagine a society where everybody knew their purpose and calling for their lives and we all possessed a fulfilling occupation and we embrace our uniqueness and differences and we can all agree to disagree. Would we as a collective body strives to make the lives of others a better one, and die to oneself.

What an amazing hibitation that would be. However, this is possible and achievable but we are all causght up in our own schedule, everybody is time poor and has very little time for one another so the lost and the lonely inevitably get left behind because they do not enhance or add value to our lives at this present moment.

What if we all learnt to take stock of our lives and every single one of us were to self evaluate what is important in our lives, would we all prioritise the things we prioritise at this present moment and what if we were suddenly forced to ask ourselves some very tough questions, what would they be and would they change you outlook?

I has dawned on me that the things we see as valuble is not as valuble as we think. Things like

making time for friends and family or even extending our time to those we don't even know exist in our community such as the elderly who have lost all their families and is suffering in silence or the neglected child who is craving for someone to love them unconditionally. When one thinks that their life is tough, compared to what? Have we got a true gauging stick for what is hard or tough? that is very relative and depending on your journey we will never really know what tough is.

Pain is never an easy process but how many times have been gone through pain and come out of it and forget all about it. We are alot more robust than we all think. We cannot ask why bad things happen to us if we are not prepared to stop and ask when life is looking up, why? It is believed that comparison is like a plague, it starts off small and simply consumes you and unassumingly we continue to judge ourselves by what others are doing or thinking or even saying.

We all want that benevolent domicile whether we think about it or not. A place where we can honestly say to ourselves that someone outside of my own broad really truly cares about our well being. We must learn to be a pro active society and not wait for the dirty work to be completed by somebody else. Every being has a hunger to be heard and loved, not condemned and wondering whether they are good enough by their action or choices.

Anyways who are we to judge those who we deem as flawed, if we were to examine ourselves carefully we ourselves are full of flaws, more than we even want to admit it to ourselves.

Competing against one another is no helping anybody's cause and the only reward is knowing that someone is going to have to relinquish something at another persons'expense. It a classic case of women competing amongst each other, we are meant to be the tribe that has each others back because we understand the needs of one another and not maliciously attack one another.

Everybody wants to dwell in a society that is authentic and transparent, with a willing heart. On the other hand, think about the kind of a legacy would you like to leave behind and how would you like people to remember you by? When we view life in this light we can see the value of individuals differently.

This is a world that is vulnerable and full of doubt, where we are constantly having to prove our worth. I believe what people are missing is that they are special and unique in all that they are and if we were to focus on our strengths and not challenges we would see collections of humankind living out their dreams. Nobody is really better than anybody, we all have different talents and we should use what we have wisely and embrace it. Comparison and competitiveness only drives us to dispair.

Believe it or not but people appreciate a kind word or gesture more than each and everyone of us thinks. Acts of random kindness is never forgotten no matter valocity.

What women really want?

What women want? what happens when you go out and a man approaches you and you have this great sensation to comply and hold a non chalance conversation. This is what many women experience because we have this inability or the unwillingness to say no thanks I do not wish to engage in this conversation. So trying to conceptualise this idea where we women feel the need to be nice to men and hold a conversation that we really don't want to partake. In a social observation we can see this going on all the time and makes you wonder why why thinks it is ok ? A young girl is dancing on the dance floor and is approached by a young man who seems interested in her, however reading her body language we discover she is clearly not interested in him but continues to dance and converse. Now this got the brain asking mulitple question such as why would she allow herself to take part when everything inside her screams NO? So as they dance and exchange words under the blarring nocturnes, he brazenly lends forward and makes out with her. She recipricates but in an awkward way. She leaves the dance floor with him and her friend. What would possess her to do such an act? Are we living in a society so desperate for acceptance that we are willing to accept a random strangers invitation even when we don't want to? This is evident in the body language. Why are women not strong enough to stand up for what they feel or believe in? Is it possible that we have relinquished all power to other people, situation and circumstances? There must be a time and a place where young women need positive role models to show them positive ways of interacting with the opposite sex. In a world where women are fighting to for equal rights and the gender role has been blurred. Is it any wonder where we as women stand and what a woman should be? Women want to be men and men feeling like they do not have any power. We want to raise women of the next generation to be all they can be without having to sell themselves short and settling for less than they want. A gorgeous blonde is dancing the night away with what seems like a colleague and her boss. Does this girl really want to be out here or does she feel obliged to hang on to her job position? In reality we are all too terrified to be who we are just in case we get discovered that we are all that people think we are and we are so wanting people to like us. We should relish in individualism. Celebrate our uniqueness.

Sheryl WuDunn: Our century's greatest injustice | Video on TED.com

This video must be seen be seen by al women. We need to make a difference and every woman need to be free ... Autonomy to be all that they can be. We need to embrace and care enough to make a difference in those who need a helipng hand. Sheryl WuDunn: Our century's greatest injustice Video on TED.com

The power of an educated women

Women and education. It is the 21st century and our former feminist crusaders have spent over two centuries fighting for equality and the rights to be educated. As a woman in the modern generation where we seem to take things like education and the rights to vote, just to name a few. Well ok I could do without the voting as I have no idea what is going on in the political realm anyways and I have no idea how the political system works and nor do I stop to take stock of it anyhow. Pondering on the notion of women and education and the implication of it. How is it empowering to a woman and what meaning does it birth to be highly educated. Sure, a woman does not require higher education to ascertain employment in certain places but if she does not have a so called "university degree" because it is out of reach or even worst an education at all. How will she make a life for herself ? This is one of the biggest problems in many developing nations. Men are favouritised to be educated and the women are sent out to the work force. It is believed in many of the developing society that girls are seen as a burden. Therefore, investing in girls are seen as a waste of scarce resources. How does an uneducated group of individuals in an improvished society value education when the need to survive is so great and the hunger pangs are so constant, the lack of basic nacessities are so great. Where the wealth disparity is so great. If $65 can change a woman life in a country like India, where a woman can start up her own business so she can feed her family and perhaps send her children to school. They are predispose to social prejudicism. Education in this instance will open doors and allow these women to lead an autonomous lives. What would the lives of these women look like if they were educated and had the ability to experience independence and freedom, to be able to contribute to society. Create a world where women are free and receive the opportunity for educated, as they are the gateway out of poverty in many cases. It is time for a renewal of mentality.

Virtue of self acceptance. Is it really mind over matter?

Here's the thing. I have come to this very belief that hurting people hurt others and therefore would intentionally or unintentionally wound a vulnerable soul. Some may agree with this statement and some will vehmently deny this to be true. Nevertheless, that is besides the point. The difference between a healthy soul and an unhealthy one lies in the relationship that they have with themselves. Why this was mentioned? Because if you are unable to develop a healthy relationship with yourself, how are you going to develop a healthy relationship with another being? What we have to remember is that we are stuck with our thoughts. We cannot run away from ourselves not even for one second which is a terrifying thought is it not? Truth be known, it's almost too much to fathom. Let's ask ourselves this question. Now the question is think back to a time when an individual that you respected or looked up to told you that you weren't good enough or that you couldn't do something because of one reason or another? Have we ever been told that? How many times have we sold our burning desires to the book shelf? I hear many of us saying too many to count on both hands. Well here's the thing. People will tell you that you cannot do something either they think they can't do it themselves and can not bear the notion of you succeeding at something they are too engrosed with fear to engage in themselves. Remember it's the old saying that misery loves company. In addition, it could be as simple as not having enough faith in you, so if we don't believe enough in oursleves we run that risk of selling our greatest desire to the shelf. Then again, who are we to blame for not living our lives to the fullest? Although what has been said may hold truth, it does not spell the end of the world. How do we love ourselves when we hear about all the things that people don't like about us? How do we overcome hurt and rejection that is inevitable in this unperfect world. What would it take to love and accept yourself ? Now that would be a start. Easier said then done right? Sure but it is certainly not impossible either. I've often pondered on this very theme. If c escaping yourself was not an option, then what is left? Learning to make peace with self. When we understand our feelings and fully comprehend why we feel the way we feel, there is power in that knowledge. We can start to see things from a different perspective, we can start to learn to accept and respect the way we feel about a particular topic and you will find that one will develop a tolerance for difference in opinion because we know why we feel the way we do and can welcome opposing opinions with grace. Learning to love yourself does not mean that one is vein or self righteous. It means that you are willing to stand strong for your beliefs and regardless of external attitude. When we don't stand for something, it more than likely a person will fall for anything and this is when we lose sight of ourselves. Love, acceptance is owed to every being, whether you feel like you deserve it or not, it is for taking. When we don't feel so lovely and worthy we need to tell ourselves that no matter how we feel; we owe it to oourselves to be kind and respectful to ourselves when the human race does not want to value us. We are all created perfectly, the funny thing is that we live in a imperfect world which has distorted our personal worth. Endorse forgiveness and be gentle to thy self and see if that has a positive effect. Sometimes being unorthodox will concede an unbirthed dream. The power is bestowed within. No one is truly lacking what they were created for.

Owning your emotions

It dawned on my one Sunday afternoon like a lightning strike, what does it mean to own one's emotions. I hear you thinking, own your emotions? What is that suppose to mean? Well I posed the same question to myself as I was pondering on that very statement.
What does it really mean to own your emotions and be accountable for the way you feel and behave. If this were a tangible entity what would it look like and how would you make sense of it ? I guess everybody would have a different definition and the portrayal of this question would look different to every individual. This is not to say that some are wrong and some are right, it all boils down to experience and how one sees the world. Could we say that's it's relative and there is no difinitive answer? To a certain degree, it could be deemed acceptable. However, the core of this statement has some haunting truths and if we were all honest, we don't really want to hear the truth as it reveals the core essence of our soul.
If I had to quickly sum up this topic and what it could potentially look like, I would say that it means admitting that you are a contributing factor to our own misery. When things go wrong, have you noticed how we go into auto pilot and look for something or someone to blame for our pain and misery.
We are so quick to point out the flaws in others but cannot bare to admit we may be at fault as well. If we are not honest to ourselves how are we to be honest with another mortal. Furthermore, I believe being honest to yourself and admitting that you are in the wrong and admitting defeat is one mortals' greatest setback.
We all want freedom, perhaps this could be an avenue to explore that elusive notion. Contrary to popular belief that we can only love those who love us back, what if we tried to love the unlovely and freely love where there is more guarantee for hurt than there is for an affirmative return of investment.
What would the world really look like if everybody understood their emotions and why they feel the way they feel? What would we all do differently or would we do things differently if we had that elemental knowledge.
It is a liberating experience to be able to admit that you are imperfect yet you are able to accept and love those so called flaws which enhances your individuality that we as a populace so craves for.