Talking to a brick wall

Everybody has one of these people in their lives, those who are closest to you and seem to know you very well, know which button to push in order get a reaction in certain situation or circumstance. These so called "people" may happen to be your mother, father, brother, sister, grandmother, grandfather etc. Or maybe they are your boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife or which ever it is.
They seemingly say things that are so hurtful and heartless. This makes you think, how could anybody say they love someone and announce such a mean message? How could one be so cruel? Do they really believe what they say?
These so called "unorthodox family member", so it seems would go out of their way to maliciously hurt your feelings or say things that are deemed hurtful and purposely say them to you in order to get a reaction out of you.
You have tried telling them that what they are saying is so hurtful and that they should be more considerate of other people's feelings and they completely dismiss everything you say. This is especially true in their standard response.
For example, it may resemble one of the following:

• You are just too sensitive and cannot be told the truth
• Well if you chose to listen to good advice then bad things will never happen to you
  
• You think you are always right
• You are selfish and can only see things from your side and nobody else's

Oh and the list could go on. They make you feel terrible and you sometimes wish you could disown them. However,if only the solution was that simple. After all these people are blood related individuals who you have spent most of your childhood and adolescents with. You have a deep connection with them and now they are the source of your greatest angst and frustration. If they were merely an aquaintance then it would not have the same affect. Nevertheless, that is frankly not the case but the contrary. Furthermore, They are the ones that cause you to feel as though you are never good enough and somehow when we are caught in this situation we are constantly striving to please them but every time that we do, it appears as though it is never enough. You feel very despondent and at times disillusioned.
Here's the deal, these people are more likely than not going through their own emotionally battles. They are hurt, angry, scared and frustrated themselves and do not know how to deal with their emotions, so they do what is instinctive to them and lash out on those closest to them. Not to mention, this could behaviour could not be performed to their friends or acquaintances because they comprehend that those people will not stand for their rubbish and they feel more comfortable with those who are closes to them. It is much easier to do because they seem more forgiving.
Additionally, Do you find yourself in a screaming match with certain members of the family or loved ones? It becomes a contest of who can scream the loudest. You find yourself shouting to be heard and to have your point validated but all you get in return for your effort is a sore throat and a humongous migraine. OK, you are thinking well that's no real consolation prize, the frustration is still there and you are still not being heard and now you feel bruised and rejected by the people who are supposed to love you and care about you.
The tension that you may have with loved ones can be quite intense. However, anything that is worth fight for will always comes at a great cost. Moreover, sometimes if we were to stop and see where the other person is coming from we may notice that we are simply looking at the same situation, topic, circumstance from a different angle. If we were to stop and ask what it is that the other person was really trying to reveal to us? We might discover that maybe they have our best interest at heart and perhaps they do not know how to convey that loving message in a way that you understand it. Remember we are all wired differently and have an altered way of saying things, not all of us are great communicators and messages can get misconstruded.
Ultimately, everybody has something to teach us but at times the hurt and the pain override the true intention of the message that is being delivered. Sometimes there are only things that those closes to you have the ability to teach us and you might be surprised that if you do stop and listen sometimes there is great wisdom to be received. The sooner we accept this reality, the easier it will be to get along with those " unorthodox people" in your lives.