The lone Ranger

What happens when you find yourself single and all your friends are settled into a relationship and you are on this journey of singledom. This is probably exactly what you don't want but you also don't want to run the risk of looking desperate or needy so you are caught in this predicament. Does it sound like someone you know?

At the beginning you think to yourself; being single isn't a bad thing until you are out with your friends and they come out with their respective partners and you are sitting at that dinner table on your own and you start to think "jeez this is such an awkward situation" and the feeling of awkwardness starts to engulf you and as the night goes on when your friends are sitting around discussing wedding plans or planning a couples trip overseas and you are just wishing that you had someone to have and hold, to cuddle up to at nights and have non sense conversations that don't really go anywhere.

This begs the question, why do people form relationships? Apart from the oblivious that it is nice to have someone special in your life to share life's little pleasures with, apart from the obvious; what is the underpinning of this desire for unionship.

In a society where people are feeling more and more disconnected, finding a compatible partner is almost like finding that perfect bra where is hugs and hold in the right spots. perhaps you don't want to be stung with the label of being single and avoid it like a plague because we don't want others to think that there is something wrong with you. Do they really think that about us or is it us thinking that is what others around us are thinking?

Be that as it may, what's wrong with waiting for the right person to come along? What's the huge rush? remember the saying that your mother used to tell you when you were a child? Good things come to those who wait.

In fact, loneliness is a huge aspect as to why some of us enter a relationship and sometimes we don't even want to be in it. To put it simply, it is for pure companionship, you will find yourself at a certain stage of your life when your friends don't have time for you anymore and the sensation of isolation increases and affects many aspects of your life especially if you are not the gregarious type who find it easy to meet new people or shy away when at large gatherings.

It's funny, in a democratic society where we embrace individuality and self worth we also put so much emphasis on being with someone and forming that happy family and the white picket fence. As much as you want to discredit this notion or not buy into it; it's almost impossible to avoid it as the signs are there and it is constantly put in our face. We are constantly being bombarded with show that symbolises family and being attached.

When you are single people start to feel sorry for you and make these suggestions that they have a friend who is single and you should meet them because they are just the loveliest person but is down on their luck when it comes to love.

OK the gesture is nice and the intentions are well intended but it somehow leaves you feeling as though you are inadequate. So the cycle goes on and on until you find that compatible person for yourself.

The fear is what makes us do this very act. In the same fashion, people need to first and foremost find a purpose in their lives; another person who enters your life is not going to instantly make your life any better or easier or take away the things that you don't like about yourself. You would more likely find that you just end up draining the other person and sucking them dry and becoming really needy.

Find thyself and get working on bettering yourself and you will find that you won't even need to be looking for a prospective partner as they will be instantly drawn to you.