Out with the old and wait for something new

We all know that wonderful saying "out with the old and in with the new". I'm sure we've all had an experience with someone who is or was toxic in our lives. They try to control and manipulate many facets of your lives and you begin to question your self worth at times because they make you feel so horrible.

You find yourself fighting about things that you are unsure of how it all began and why you guys even fought in the first place. This sensation leaves you feeling worn out and weary but you just don't know how to get off the vicious merry go round.

Of course just knowing the truth or someone pointing out the oblivious is going to be good enough for you to realise that what you are doing is really damaging yourself more than anybody else and by you staying in that relationship in the name of love is only adding fuel to the fire but it leaves you feeling like there is a strong hold on you and for some reason you have justified it in your head that you cannot leave without this person, though you may not have to admit it to anyone but you yourself knows this very truth.

Now that you've realised and woken up to see all that this relationship is doing to you is causing you get pain and the truth is, this relationship will not survive, instantly it makes you feel like some failure who can't get it all together and try to make something work. Ouch you're thinking to yourself. Not only do I feel like a failure but now I have to admit to myself that what I have been doing this whole time has been a lost cause.

Nevertheless, It's not a be all to end all. It is not all dome and loom, sometimes all you need are really good friends to help you get out of these situations but even that is not always an easy solution because people will always have their own tainted views on things.

No doubt, this is where it all seems impossible and at times and there is no way out. With the added bonus of the psychological phenomena; fear, doubt and other anxiety can make you do the things that you would not normally do.

Besides, we as individuals decide who and how much power we are going to relinquish to a particular person and how much we are prepared to put up with. I believe if everybody knew how loved and valued they were, there will no be a soul out there would would settle for second best. Being emotionally or physically captive is no fun and this why when we manage to get ourselves out, we must learn to rebuild our lives and learn to love yourself again. It is like tossing out that old pair of worn out underwear that you know you are meant to throw out ages ago because it's really not serving its purpose anymore and for some reason you are waiting for a written invitation for you to act. It's hard to love someone when you don't love or know yourself.